Deep in the depths of my soul, I have no doubt God has my back. But every so often, I experience a day when I quiver inside in fear. A circumstance floats on top, casting a shadow of my firm belief that some circumstance will work out. Today was one of those days. We certainly live in a fallen world
I turned to God, asking for wisdom and hope. But I couldn’t see even one petal in the garden of hope. The shadow drug behind me like a weight on my back. Even though sunshine spilled over the mountains, and Spring tulips smiled toward the heavens, I didn’t feel at peace.
Tonight I decided to take a walk. I changed into my tee-shirt and sweats. And that’s when I noticed…
Once again – amidst the steep mountain peaks of this journey called life – I ended up wearing the shirt that says, “This girl knows God is in control.” Oddly enough, on the days when my life seems most out of control, I grab the shirt that’s toward the front. Although I never put it in exactly the same place, the shirt lands on my body. I end up wearing my faith on my heart. Literally.
This scenario replays in my life story repeatedly. So often, I almost giggle inside. I bought the shirt at a Woman of Faith conference several years ago, and I think of writing to tell them how God uses it to remind me, “Yes, Cherrie, I do have your back. Even when it doesn’t seem like it.”
God is always in control. Always – even when it doesn’t seem like it. Maybe I’ll grasp that with every cell of my being someday.
But in the meantime, I need a reminder.
Because as the tide ebbs and flows, at times I forget my courage. I falter to remember who is in the kayak with me.
I can almost picture Jesus winking at me. ~